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The Grammy awards are pretty much a joke - an outlet for self-serving record labels to grant each other meaningless awards.  I hate to even do justice to this, but I was flabbergasted to find that Metallica had won the “Best Metal Performance” grammy this year for the mediocre “My Apocolypse” on their slightly above average album “Death Magnetic.”  Apparently, they managed to beat out the likes of “Ministry,” “Slipknot,” “Judas Priest,” and “DragonForce” to earn their however-manyith grammy in however many years for mediocre or otherwise terrible music.

According to wikipedia, here are the results from the grammies from the last few years, with a little commentary:

• Grammy Awards of 2009
  • Metallica for “My Apocalypse” - Are you kidding me?  This isn’t even close to the best song on that album.  Metallica is done-zo, give it up.
    • DragonForce for “Heroes of Our Time” - I don’t really care about DragonForce, I’ve never heard this song, but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t have been considered for “Best Metal Performance”
    • Judas Priest for “Nostradamus“ - Judas Priest is washed up.  I guess this is sort of an honorable mention to a once-proud metal band.  Maybe this was one of the three metal bands “the academy” had heard of when perusing the list of potential “Best Metal Performances”
      
    • Ministry for “Under My Thumb“ - Ministry is not good, they never were.  They’re not really even metal.  Bah
      
    • Slipknot for “Psychosocial“ - Awful!  They are not metal, and this song is probably terrible too.
      

• Grammy Awards of 2008
  • Slayer for “Final Six“ - Slayer?  They were never really that good
    • As I Lay Dying for “Nothing Left“ - No comment - I’ve never heard this song, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t one of the top five metal performances of this year.
      
    • King Diamond for “Never Ending Hill“ - Not really sure, not a big fan of King Diamond
      
    • Machine Head for “Aesthetics of Hate“ - Machine Head is a little more obscure than the usual Grammy fare.  “The Blackening” was actually a good album, it’s a shame they didn’t win this.
      
    • Shadows Fall for “Redemption“ - Shadows Fall is ok, but probably not deserving of this title
      

• Grammy Awards of 2007
  • Slayer for “Eyes of the Insane“ - Slayer again?  Nice…
    • Lamb of God for “Redneck“ - Kind of lame, mainstream American metal, but probably more deserving than Slayer
      
    • Mastodon for “Colony of Birchmen“ - This should have won
      
    • Ministry for “Lieslieslies“ - Ministry again?  Terrible
      
    • Stone Sour for “30/30-150“ - Are you joking?  Stone Sour?  Might as well nominate Staind or Godsmack too.  Terrible.
      

• Grammy Awards of 2006
  • Slipknot for “Before I Forget“ - Completely terrible
    • Ministry for “The Great Satan“ - Ministry again!  Awful!!!
      
    • Mudvayne for “Determined“ - See comment above about Stone Sour
      
    • Rammstein for “Mein Teil“ - Never heard it, pretty sure it’s not that good.
      
    • Shadows Fall for “What Drives the Weak“ - Another token mediocre American metal pick.  Didn’t deserve to win, or get nominated.
      

• Grammy Awards of 2005
  • Motörhead for “Whiplash“ - Never heard it
    • Cradle of Filth for “Nymphetamine“ - Terrible sell-out “symphonic black metal”
      
    • Hatebreed for “Live for This“ - Never heard it, probably terrible
      
    • Killswitch Engage for “The End of Heartache” - Token, bland American “metal”
      
    • Slipknot for “Vermilion” - Simply awful

• Grammy Awards of 2004
  • Metallica for “St. Anger” - This might be the most idiotic pick of all time.  Completely terrible!
    • Ko?n for “Did My Time” - I like how the ‘R’ is backwards.  Awesome.  Terrible music though.
    • Marilyn Manson for “mOBSCENE” - Why won’t this loser just go away, his music sucks.
    • Spineshank for “Smothered” - Never heard it, pretty sure it sucks
    • Stone Sour for “Inhale“ - See comment above about “Stone Sour”
      

• Grammy Awards of 2003
  • Ko?n for “Here to Stay” - Terrible
    • P.O.D. for “Portrait” - Bland
    • Slipknot for “My Plague“ - Slipknot once again, and once again a terrible nomination.
      
    • Stone Sour for “Get Inside“ - These guys again?  Are they good?  We may never know!
      
    • Rob Zombie for “Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy)“ - Not metal, not good either
      

• Grammy Awards of 2002
  • Tool for “Schism“ - Tool is okay, this might be an okay pick, considering how terrible other picks have been
    • Black Sabbath for “The Wizard“ - Never heard it, but fair enough pick
      
    • Slayer for “Disciple“ - Washed up, never that good
      
    • Slipknot for “Left Behind“ - Terrible
      
    • System of a Down for “Chop Suey!“ - Bland, token pick, didn’t deserve to win
      

• Grammy Awards of 2001
  • Deftones for “Elite“ - I like the Deftones, but they aren’t really metal
    • Iron Maiden for “The Wicker Man“ - Decent Grammy Nomination!
      
    • Marilyn Manson for “Astonishing Panorama of the Endtimes“ - Sucks (although, I must admit I’ve never heard it)
      
    • Pantera for “Revolution Is My Name“ - Decent
      
    • Slipknot for “Wait and Bleed“ - I can’t believe how many nominations these guys have gotten
      

• Grammy Awards of 2000
  • Black Sabbath for “Iron Man“ - Not really sure why this was nominated in 2000, but fair enough
    • Ministry for “Bad Blood“ - Another Ministry nomination?  Wow
      
    • Motörhead for “Enter Sandman“ - An arguably decent metal band nominated for a cover of a mainstream metal song?  Is that the best we can do in the year 2000?
      
    • Nine Inch Nails for “Starfuckers, Inc.“ - Not really metal
      
    • Rob Zombie for “Superbeast“ - Not really metal
      

As you can see, the Grammy awards are completely clueless when it comes to metal.

Andy Music Grammy, Metal, Music