Martial Arts

UFC 1 – starring Bill “Superfoot” Wallace

Posted by Andy on May 27, 2008
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Oh man, I just watched an old video of the very first UFC competition: “UFC 1: The Beginning.” What a classic! If you haven’t seen it, I’d highly encourage you to find it out in the wide world of webs (here), or acquire the dvd – you won’t regret it. The fighting is pretty laughable by today’s brutal standards, but the commentary has survived the test of time as quite probably the worst ever. Bill “Superfoot” Wallace, a kickboxing/tae kwon do/karate champion; Kathy Long, a lady kickboxing champion; and NFL legend Jim Brown set the tone for a hilarious night in the octogon. Kathy Long actually comes up with a few decent things to say, but Bill insists on interrupting her or contradicting anything that comes out of her mouth. Jim Brown keeps his mouth shut for the most part, but slips in a few zings in response to Bill’s ridiculous statements. This video sums up the hilarity that ensues with Bill Wallace at the mic: Tribute to Bill Wallace

I guess he forgot to rehearse his lines, learn how to pronounce the fighter’s names, learn the names of his fellow commentators/announcers, or learn the name of the league. Bill, don’t quit your day job, you suck.

As for the actual fighting, highlights include:

  • Gerard Gordeau heiling Hitler before the fight.  Just kidding – apparently his pre-fight routine is the “Savate Salute” not the Heil Hitler salute.  Sorry Gerard, no offense intended, but you definitely looked the part…
  • Gerard Gordeau kicking blubbery Teila Tuli in the mouth, extracting a tooth
  • Kevin Rosier’s too-tight shorts – couldn’t he have worn baggier pants?  Jean shorts might have been a better choice
  • Art Jimmerson’s single boxing glove
  • Art Jimmerson tapping out for no apparent reason
  • Royce Gracie beating everyone

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