Monthly Archives: May 2008

UFC 1 – starring Bill “Superfoot” Wallace

Posted by Andy on May 27, 2008
Martial Arts / No Comments

Oh man, I just watched an old video of the very first UFC competition: “UFC 1: The Beginning.” What a classic! If you haven’t seen it, I’d highly encourage you to find it out in the wide world of webs (here), or acquire the dvd – you won’t regret it. The fighting is pretty laughable by today’s brutal standards, but the commentary has survived the test of time as quite probably the worst ever. Bill “Superfoot” Wallace, a kickboxing/tae kwon do/karate champion; Kathy Long, a lady kickboxing champion; and NFL legend Jim Brown set the tone for a hilarious night in the octogon. Kathy Long actually comes up with a few decent things to say, but Bill insists on interrupting her or contradicting anything that comes out of her mouth. Jim Brown keeps his mouth shut for the most part, but slips in a few zings in response to Bill’s ridiculous statements. This video sums up the hilarity that ensues with Bill Wallace at the mic: Tribute to Bill Wallace

I guess he forgot to rehearse his lines, learn how to pronounce the fighter’s names, learn the names of his fellow commentators/announcers, or learn the name of the league. Bill, don’t quit your day job, you suck.

As for the actual fighting, highlights include:

  • Gerard Gordeau heiling Hitler before the fight.  Just kidding – apparently his pre-fight routine is the “Savate Salute” not the Heil Hitler salute.  Sorry Gerard, no offense intended, but you definitely looked the part…
  • Gerard Gordeau kicking blubbery Teila Tuli in the mouth, extracting a tooth
  • Kevin Rosier’s too-tight shorts – couldn’t he have worn baggier pants?  Jean shorts might have been a better choice
  • Art Jimmerson’s single boxing glove
  • Art Jimmerson tapping out for no apparent reason
  • Royce Gracie beating everyone

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I’m famous! (and humbled…)

Posted by Andy on May 13, 2008
Kayaking / No Comments

My good friend Chadwick Shoults just posted a kayaking video from our recent trip to Deckers/Waterton Canyon, near Conifer, CO.  It was a great video documenting all the drops on this short, but furious III+/IV- run, and somehow a popular kayaking website eddyflower.com saw it and decided to post it as a video guide for Waterton!  Although, as for being a run guide, try not to do what I did – e.g. get flipped three times (one not seen in the video, and one more almost-flip), all at inopportune times.  It was a fun, but challenging and humbling experience.  It is good to be reminded that I’m really not that great, so I don’t go off and try something stupid.  Here’s the video:

http://eddyflower.com/RunDetail.aspx?RunId=76

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The Web of the 90s (Web0.9beta)

Posted by Andy on May 09, 2008
Computers, Internet / No Comments

I just read an article: “RIP Web Trends of the 90s,” and it reminded me how much I miss the earlier days of the wide world of webs. (Not really…) I’m talking about the 90s web; the days of old when Prodigy and AOL ruled like kings, and Geocities and Tripod hosted pretty much every personal site, free of charge. These were the days of yore when PCs were a creamy beige in color, and still had that nice 5 ¼ inch floppy drive, which would allow you to store away up to 5 of your favorite animated gifs for future viewing.

Here are a few of the web trends from that great era (some of these are repeats from the article above, but they’re classics, so I thought they were worth reiterating):

  • Animated gifs (as mentioned before) – who could forget that explosion gif featured on the nearly every heavy metal fan page, or that fist gif that was continuously punching its way out of the page? I also like the “Under Construction” banner that everyone used, and the little construction guy, tirelessly working away to finish construction on your Metallica web-ring page (hosted on geocities of course).
  • Webrings – speaking of webrings, what ever happened to those? I guess now that we have these search engines, it’s no longer useful to insert your site into a ring of links.
  • “Best Viewed With” links to Netscape or Internet Explorer. I guess these were probably valid back then – pages probably looked quite a bit different in those old browsers. Interestingly enough, this “Best Viewed With” nonsense went out of style for awhile, but now smug Firefox users are trying to bring it back in an attempt to usurp the dominance of Internet Explorer.
  • MIDI music – before mp3s assumed their rightful place as king of all things downloadable, I remember scouring the web for MIDI interpretations of my favorite songs. These, along with your collection of animated gifs, could be conveniently stored on floppy disk for future listening pleasure.
  • Modem sounds – I have a friend whose cell phone ringer is a recording of the beeps and hissing of an old modem dialing up to the net. I think that’s pretty funny. Now that I think about it, having to dial-up to the internet seems way old, but it wasn’t really that long ago.
  • Hit Counters – on my very first webpage, I felt compelled to include one of those odometer-style hit counters at the bottom of the page (a must for any 90s website). I quickly discovered that I could grant myself instant web credibility by clicking the browser’s refresh button over-and-over in a rapid fashion.
  • <marquee> or <blink> text – The telltale sign of a true 90s website is blinking or scrolling text. Often appearing in the vicinity of a glittery panda gif, colorful rainbow dots, or a barb-wire horizontal divider, the blinking and/or scrolling text adds just the right amount of class to any Web1.0 site.

I guess that about does it, feel free to comment with your favorite Web1.0 (or Web0.9beta if you prefer) trend.

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